Flora Fling's Filings

40 til 40 (Day 4)

I finally got back on the the trapeze tonight. Its been three months. Ambivalent at first, but then I realized how much I miss my girls! Tuesday Love....rocks my heart!

40 til 40 (Day 5)

And, I lost my phone....sigh. Let's just call it a "friendship cleansing" from the universe. Am so swamped trying to get ready for my birthday trip, I can barely deal with one more logistical nightmare. 

Godspeed dear friends who pretend, but really are not my friends. 

40 til 40 (Day 6)

I realize my day-to-day life in NYC has worn me down to the point where I need 10-11 hours of sleep upon vacation. Utter exhaustion. I have gone on two runs and a long walk in the past two days. My brain feels rotted, full of a type of toxicity that you wonder if you will ever be able to exorcize from the brain. 

40 til 40 (Day 7)

In Vermont for the Memorial Day weekend. Everyone has stayed up to smoke and drink. I went to bed at 9:30pm. EXHAUSTED. 

40 til 40 (Day 8)

Saw Lady Gaga in Central Park at Summer Stage this morning. VIP seats. Close. Cost me $0. She was amazing. I had to get up at 4:00am to be in the park at 5:30am. Worth it but led to further exhaustion.

40 til 40 (Day 9)

Complete exhaustion. Randomly went to an art show with an Aussie who lives in LA. It was not a date. He let me pay for dinner....and then tried to get away with not paying for after dinner drinks. Seriously? WTF? Why am I exposed to this type of male?

40 til 40 (Day 10)

Only 10 days away from my birthday. I can't believe it. I've been shopping like crazy for my trip to the Burlesque Hall of Fame. I think I have almost everything I need. I haven't shopped with such unbridled glee in ages but its exhausting.

Or maybe my life is just exhausting. Came home and couldn't find the energy to pack. Too tired. These past months, this year, (which I can't believe is almost half over) has been exhausting. 

40 til 40 (Day 11)

The day took a quick downturn when I returned the call of my therapist, whom I think I'm done with. She just doesn't help me anymore. Happens....the lifespan of a relationship. For some reason, that phone call really made me feel badly. I guess there is no clearer sign of the end of a relationship with your therapist than hanging up the phone and feeling worse than you did when you got on the call.

The evening took an upswing when I got in touch with the place where I want to have my birthday party. I've been there once before but upon my second visit, it was everything I hoped it would be. Now they just need to call me back regarding details.

40 til 40 (Day 12)

I don't exactly find comfort in a 70 year old telling me that turning 40 is no big deal.....

40 til 40 (Day 13)

Finally getting a little excited about my birthday trip to the Burlesque Hall of Fame! Went shopping for vintage dresses with a friend.